On writing...
...and not writing, and then writing again.
This newsletter is a place for me to combine my experience as a spiritual director with my love for great writing and creating online community experiences. Speaking of great writing, in her novel The Weekend, Charlotte Wood wrote:
The early works that had made her name now seemed to her fervid, attention-seeking. Her intellect had only deepened with the years, which was a relief.
It’s a little over-stated to share this quote in relation to my own writing. Of course, I’m not published or anything, and old blog posts could hardly be referred to as my ‘early works!’ But the sentiment of the narrative does resonate in terms of changes in the way I write. Or more properly said, changes in me.
I’ve always loved writing and for a long time I posted regular reflections, rooted in my own life of parenting, crossing cultures, travelling, wrestling with God and more. Writing has always helped me to process, to find my way through my experiences, and ultimately to discover more of the ground beneath my feet, the stability of God’s love for me in the complexities of human life.
Then I stopped writing. I guess I didn’t deal well with criticism, some who felt my style of sharing wasn’t appropriate for a leader in missions; too public, too raw. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. And besides, there are so many voices, so many words, I sort of became paralysed by the thought of adding my own to the flood.
Well, I’ve missed writing and I want to start again. So I’m going to try. I’m trying to find my own voice, the particular stream of thought that is mine to share. I think I’ll always prefer memoir-style essays to anything else, and I seem to revert to a sort of raw, sometimes sweary take on life, with a strong spiritual undertone. That’s just the way the voice in my head comes out on the page. You have been warned.
And you know what? I ask good questions. I think in questions, I converse with questions. I guess I’m drawn to questions more than answers, which are often simplistic or subjective. Working as a spiritual director has done a number on my brain, perhaps?! I’ve become more tentative, I make fewer assumptions, I hope I’m more open to being surprised.
So if you enjoy my writing and you appreciate questions that might resonate with your own life, if you are looking for thoughtful ways of deepening your experience of God through practices created in response to life’s complexity, then watch this space. I may have a small, semi-regular offering for you coming soon. If you’re not already flooded with other stuff, that is.
What do you think? Could this be something for you? If so, I’d love for you to join me!